after long last, my month of busyness draws itself to a close. still too pooped out to really do anything, after all, the measure for measure essay and 2 history outlines due monday are still weighing on my mind. oh well, that's what sunday is for. not really looking forward to that time after coming home from church.

had a tiring week as you can tell. history seminar at NUS. doing the bloody ppt and script. almost like PW. i used cue cards again! Ms Tan treated us to pizza for lunch which was really nice of her. i didn't know what i was saying during the Q n A session. i think it didn't make much sense. met Benita and Xuemei and Ray Lin there. Ray Lin told me that apparently there's a press conference coming up in mid-march about the Youth Connect workgroup National Youth Council thing. (met her there)

hung around with Natalie at orchard on friday. you know, i think i really like that. just hanging around, we were at orchard park, where singtel had the 3loGy thing? so had nice background music and just sat there stoning... that was really fun. something where i didn't have to use my overworked brain. Natalie didn't want to stay and wait for Sylvester and Taufik to come onstage. i wanted to wait, also wanted to see the Lions. hmph. but also couldn't stay out too late cos i don't want a curfew slapped onto me. she's so funny la, she said my SMS-es are not friendly, must add =) and :P and =D... i do that ok! sometimes...

hmm... right now feeling like whining... seems rather bimbotic though. heehee. oh no, i'm even going heehee now...

2 more weeks to march hols. 1 more week or so to PW results though it doesn't really seem that big a deal. J1s getting results on monday, all the best! hope you guys get to go wherever you wanna go...

and i just wanna go to the beach and relax... maybe when the weather isn't that humid, or to a restaurant and just talk with friends and hang. oh well, there are a lot of things in life that i want... like Clarence's guitar! i think my parents are weakening... hope so! maybe they'll relent and i get to have it. after all, i'm paying. we'll see. we'll see. though i still have to cough up the bucks for it, it's a really good deal considering how expensive a first hand electric guitar is.

if not, i'll still be happy with the classical one considering i'm such a bloody slow learner. still having piano lessons and homework and what not to contend with. busy busy.

can't wait to go shopping again. saw this really nice top and lots of other nice stuff. can't wait! more clink clink please! cya later friends.

setting myself up beautifully for disappointments

it is when we are at our lowest low that our faults come to haunt us
it is also when we are at our lowest low that we find the strength in adversity

but how many of us can truly rise up and see past our faults, our flaws and our insecurities?

this week has been a trying one for me. just feel so stretched in so many directions that i want to run away. i think what i need now is just some warm comfort and a caffe latte.

could you see the extreme opposites my emotions were on friday?

low, way way low. (after spending a whole day running for cross country and then going shopping in town and being bombarded by more than a person's fair share of tolerance for pink. of which i quite like but am inclined to throw something black into the sea of pink which would make it really pretty and contrasting.)

THEN A SUPER HIGH.
of which Sonya remarked to that and asked if i was drunk.
i wasn't drunk.

tmr's v day and i'm not sure whether to be thankful or not that i'm single. perhaps that was what contributed to the varying degrees of emotion. i supposed in some ways i can just count my blessings. everyone envies the other for certain things, grass is always greener on the other side. blah blah blah. oh well, at least i can be thankful that i have my good pals. anyway, chelsea won everton 1-0. do you recognize a pattern? i think the last time they played each other, the score was also 1-0 and it was also a second half goal. 12 points in the lead...

sometimes i just wish i had someone to buy things for me. someone other than your parents because it makes me feel quite bad asking them to buy stuff for me that should be considered a luxury. other than that, the other more practical solution than counting on other people is counting on yourself. i have decided to try to save money. i actually had a 100 bucks before CNY but my hair ate it up, and i think my earrings ate it up too. among other stuff. whatever.

i think i just love everyone... so to all my friends, a great big shout out because i've suddenly gotten attacked by a huge case of the HIGHS due to " You to me are everything" playing on the computer that ..

I Love You

P.S. if you're hoping my HIGH will last more than a while, i'm sorry to disappoint you. i'm going to go back to the cynical depressive persona that seems slightly more natural than HIGH me. after all, HIGH me is artificial though i can be high naturally. and i don't think i make much sense. but i promise to smile more... right Hweeeee?

I'm just sitting here contemplating.
thinking... remembering...

and come to think of it, it's almost been a year.
can you believe it?

and still i dream, still hold on to the memories
even though i tell myself to stop relieving.

but it's so hard at times...
and i just want to break down

you missed what was right in front of you

could it have been a blessing in disguise?

maybe I'll have the answer in another year's time.

Innocence

HAHAHAHA. i finally got my sister to dl "that's what friends are for" and i dl Real Thing's "You to me are everything" and i have concluded that i am a computer genius. okay, so it doesn't take much to dl stuff but i just like cheap thrills.

feeling quite crappy these days. very stressed out and agitated. low blood sugar apparently. at least that's what the nutritionist said when i went for my health checkup. i shall go and read the stress management logbook one of the guides did and see how i can relieve stress. i remembered asking someone to let them be my punching bag. did Keith volunteer that time? haha.

i have been a very good girl. i have been doing my homework. i have finished my math tutorial for tangants and normals and have finished section A, B, D for national income tutorial. AHHAHAHAHA. but still got a lot of essays and my room to clean and research to do. shall do the research tmr and better start on my "what is history" book.

and i finally went shopping. i went on thursday to compass point to get 2 pair of shoes from charles and keith. it was so crowded and people were actually buying like 4 pairs at one go. mad i tell you. one of the shoes is pink and has a heart. it's very cute... and then on sat i bought a skirt, finally!!! and i got myself 3 pairs of earrings today. i shall not buy earrings and shoes for a long time, but since it was for CNY, i indulged.

anyway, had some shit today that i hope will sort itself out because SN deserves to get Puan Nor Aisha Gold award!!! i was like running half way... then my phone just kept on ringing. one call after another. i realised it's very hard to build up your triceps. okay, sorry for the disjointment.

sometimes i think i just need someone to lean on. very emotional these days. been tearing up quite often. gah, my brain must be on crack. perhaps i'll post soon. perhaps not.